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A/B/O: Adventures in Fake Science. by Hells Bartender (Firebog)
Fandoms: Unspecified Fandom
02 Aug 2016
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Summary
This is an attempt to bash weird porny a/b/o dynamics fiction over the head with science. Not that anyone asked for it.
So how the hell does a/b/o sex determination work? And why did a trinary sex determination system evolve in higher vertebrates alongside a binary sex determination system? Why aren't omega males dying in droves from massive uterine infections? Alpha females, what's up with that? Come on in and I shall tell you the very best in fake science and evolutionary history.
Part theorizing, part helpful guide. This one goes out to all you people who just want fictional worlds to make sense. I'm right there with you.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,029
- Chapters:
- 9/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 374
- Kudos:
- 1,318
- Bookmarks:
- 658
- Hits:
- 47,556
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Bookmark Notes:
Meta ABO
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- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 313,288
- Chapters:
- 8/?
- Comments:
- 271
- Kudos:
- 4,856
- Bookmarks:
- 4,564
- Hits:
- 966,701
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Bookmark Notes:
Done
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周生，谁都爱你，谁也恨你。
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Embedding tutorial
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 212
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4,524
- Kudos:
- 8,773
- Bookmarks:
- 5,554
- Hits:
- 406,621
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Tony Stark, Weapon Consultant by Captain Carla Coulson by orphan_account
Fandoms: Unspecified Fandom
20 Oct 2025
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Summary
S.H.I.E.L.D. don't approve Tony for the Avengers? But they do approve Iron Man? Well, tough. Because I AM Iron Man. But now, the Avengers will never get Iron Man.
Their *only* asset now, *is* Tony Stark!
Feel free to write more
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Bookmark Notes:
Tony Stark, Weapon Consultant by Captain Carla Coulson by orphan_account
Unspecified Fandom
Not Rated
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Other
Complete WorkThe Tags used:
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings = Just a Consultant = Consultant Tony Stark - Relationship = I am Iron Man - Relationship = Tony Stark - Not An Avenger = tony stark - freeform - Relationship = Ant-Man & The Wasp - Freeform = Avengers - Freeform - Relationship = Marvel Cinematic Universe - Freeform - Relationship = S.H.I.E.L.D. - Relationship = HYDRA - Relationship = Captain America - Freeform - Relationship = Thor - Freeform - Relationship = Polyamory - Relationship = Iron Man - Freeform - RelationshipSummary
S.H.I.E.L.D. don't approve Tony for the Avengers? But they do approve Iron Man? Well, tough. Because I AM Iron Man. But now, the Avengers will never get Iron Man.Their *only* asset now, *is* Tony Stark!
Feel free to write more
Fic
So, Tony Stark is recommended as 'just a consultant', is he? Well, that's fine by him. He is a damned fine consultant on weaponry of all kinds. And if this so-called "Avenger's Initiative" doesn't need him, then he won't be an Avenger. Which also means that Iron Man will remain an independent hero, not an Avenger.When a Norse God invades the Earth, Tony's happy to sit back and let S.H.I.E.L.D. throw their WWII veteran at the problem. He has no beef with the God Of Mischief. S.H.I.E.L.D. suddenly want Iron Man, even with Tony at the helm, but it just isn't gonna happen. Nowhere near enough apology and far too late to be an acceptable concession. He *does* work on scanning the alien invaders and developing a scrambler for their cybernetic hive-mind, that turns an army into a disorganised mob. Then, when S.H.I.E.L.D. apparently lose their goddamn minds and lauch a nuke at New York city, he manages to shut that down, too. It makes a nice addition to his own evidence of Hydra sleeper cells inside the World Security Council.
You get the idea. What if, after hearing that S.H.I.E.L.D. only want him as "a consultant", Tony decided that he was perfectly happy to comply. How would the rest of the MCU have evolved with an Iron Man who strictly maintained his role as an independent global superhero, while only ever working for the Avengers as their on-call arms and armour expert.
So, no War Machine, I guess. This Tony builds fewer suits and cares far more about where they end up, so he definitely doesn't appreciate his best friend stealing one and handing it over to Hammer and the military, especially after he has just now finished a court case to stop them taking his suits by legal force. Thor comes to know and respect Tony as a Smith like one of the Dwarven Smiths of Niflheim, instead of as an Asgardian-style "battle-brother" with the Avengers. Steve sees a Tony that seems much more like Howard than in canon, only slowly realising much later that he is so very different, and that Tony also fights on the front lines of his own private battles without the benefit of back-up like the military, and then the Avengers, have always given Steve. Of course, when Steve realises that S.H.I.E.L.D. has been run by Hydra since their inception, he starts to consider that maybe Tony had the right idea all along.
After Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 1, Tony might even become a valued asset of the much reduced S.H.I.E.L.D. under Director Coulson, who is not too proud to admit that Tony was right to keep his distance from S.H.I.E.L.D. all this time, after all.
Hank Pym might be very anti-S.H.I.E.L.D. and very anti-Avenger, but he might be more open to idea of asking Tony, who is Howard's son but seems to have rejected his father's legacy and is very careful never to give away his power-suit technology, for help with securing his own legacy, by shutting down an attempt to replicate his own power-suit technology!
Just generally, Tony Stark *is* the Earth's premiere weapons expert. What if that became even more of his defining role in the MCU beginning halfway through Iron Man 2? What if Iron Man was more integral as a genius engineer than as a walking tank?
(That's it, there's the whole thing)
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buncha AIs try to prepare for a birthday party (unfinished).
I try to incorporate ways to recognize AI writing in here but all of this thing is human-written and kinda sucks. Check the HTML code to see what I mean. -
The Spice of Life by orphan_account for Puffinmuffin
Fandoms: Humans Are Space Orcs (Meme), Undisclosed Fandom
18 Dec 2020
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maLonsian Landaris wasn't pleased about her transfer to a Terran ship, but the more she learns about this strange species, the more interesting they get.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,150
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 28
- Kudos:
- 309
- Bookmarks:
- 55
- Hits:
- 1,730
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You’ve had your eye on the neighbors baby since she was born. The mother asked if you can babysit her precious girl, and what kind of monster would say no? ;)
(POV: you fuck a baby violently and throughly)
Hey! I also put fuckton of tags so if you don’t like!! don’t read!!! :)
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A Queen bee without a hive is no Queen at all. However, a naive young man and a mispronounced spell give a deposed monarch a second chance and a new colony to conquer.
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"Fine then. I'm down."
"What?"
"You're all talk and no game." Tommy laughed, rolling his eyes, "All bark, no bite, y-"
Lips crashed into his own, the taste of cherry lip balm invading his senses. A shocked gasp left his lungs when the other departed, eyebrows fixed in a sort of angry confidence.
It was nearly lost on him how many people surrounded the two, but the eyes that bore into Tommy's skin were more than enough to stop an increasing urge to grab Ranboo and pull him back in.
OR; Tommy and Ranboo have always had tension between them. When you grow up, that tension can switch up on you.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,678
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Comments:
- 410
- Kudos:
- 1,092
- Bookmarks:
- 82
- Hits:
- 21,397
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Bookmark Notes:
A little birdie passed along the link to this and after reading chapter one i love it. This is gonna be a fun ride :3
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Bookmark Notes:
HEJAGSHSBSNWNNENWJEHDHDJ
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Bookmark Notes:
Enemies (rivals?) To friends to lovers (semi) forbidden romance?
With a hint of second hand embarrassment?
Yes, yes it is
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“Why do you think I’m upset with you?”
“I… I was rude.”
“How were you rude?” he asked, shaking his head with a bewildered expression.
“I- I offered help,” he said, almost whimpering.
“Oh sweetie,” Brandt said, his tone suggesting he was talking to an injured fawn. “If that’s being rude, then half the world’s population should be in prison.”---
Dakota was taught to fear humanity. That people are dangerous, unsafe, and kindness is never free.
Alex Brandt is doing his best to prove otherwise.
Series
- Part 1 of What Hides Underneath
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good boy by frankzgoodboy
Fandoms: LeATHERMØUTH, My Chemical Romance, Unspecified Fandom, kinda - Fandom
18 Sep 2025
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Summary
100% self indulgent
really shit thing i wanted to post since i havent posted anything read-worthy in about a month. sorry its so short.
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Bookmark Notes:
wait yes thank you
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Summary
philza punishes tommy for being a little brat
Series
- Part 4 of joes pmcyt smuts
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,391
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 394
- Bookmarks:
- 14
- Hits:
- 18,299
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Faces of Richard Armitage by Bacca
Fandoms: Multi-Fandom, Richard Armitage - Fandom, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), North and South (UK TV), Robin Hood (BBC 2006), Inspector George Gently, The Spooks - Fandom, Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types, Into the Storm - Fandom, Other - Fandom
04 Jan 2021
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Summary
Major Arcana Tarot
Richard Armitage and his roles
Drawn in 2015 on the Fandom Battle -
The explorers tavern [Now open] by Cool_guy_amiright
Fandoms: Cookie Run (Video Game), Battle For Dream Island (Web Series), にゃんこポータル | The Battle Cats (Video Game), The Battle Bricks (Roblox), Plants vs Zombies, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Five Nights at Freddy's, Deltarune (Video Game), 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game), Kirby (Video Games), 転生したらスライムだった件 - 伏瀬 | Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken | That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime - Fuse, 転生したら剣でした - 棚架ユウ | Tensei Shitara Ken Deshita | Reincarnated as a Sword - Tanaka Yuu, 自動販売機に生まれ変わった俺は迷宮を彷徨う | Jidou Hanbaiki ni Umarekawatta | Reborn as a Vending Machine (Anime), Dispatch (Video Game), The Owl House (Cartoon), and more - Fandom
29 Jun 2026
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Summary
The explorer's tavern is now open to the public
We are open 24/7 and across time and space
Listen to tales that are never sung by patrons around or even the owner himself
Our crew is ready to serve you, so what are you waiting for? Join the fun, drinks, and tales, and let your body relax
Journeys can be tough; maybe a break is all you need -
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A girl named Emery her mother disappeared when Emery was a child and now she will discover the truth behind the mysteries her mother left for her
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after his wife died months ago, a pent up father finds himself in a (what should be) uncomfortable and wrong scenario. but something unexpected happens, he enjoys it.
THIS STORY CONTAINS UNDERAGE SEX AND FATHER/SON INCEST! IF YOU DO NOT LIKE, DON'T READ!
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In which, Ezra has no idea what's going on by BreadBoyExtraordinaire
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, ?, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Sort of - Fandom, Star Wars: Rebels
21 Jun 2026
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The last thing Ezra could remember was being tossed into space on Thrawn's cracking ship, The Chimaera, so why was he suddenly on Coruscant? More importantly though, why are these people acting like they know him?
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my take on the obligatory star wars time-travel fix-it fic except im using Ezra because i miss him
SLOW UPDATES BUT NOT ABANDONED!!
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Acorn's Seasonal Skirmish: Seasoning Skirmish Works by Apprehensive_Acorn
Fandom Cult of the Lamb (Video Game), Dandy's World (Roblox), Deltarune (Video Game), Naruto (Anime & Manga), Original Work, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom, Unspecified Fandom, Vita Carnis (Web Series), Warriors - Erin Hunter
02 Jul 2026
Summary
For the Seasonal Skirmish Discord Server’s Seasoning Skirmish Writing Event !!!
Team: Lemon Lunchroom 🍋🍋
- Words:
- 17,298
- Works:
- 11
- Bookmarks:
- 2
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S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Iron Therapist by error_404_cannot_connect_to_fic
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Other fandoms - Fandom
01 Apr 2024
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Summary
“So my boyfriend's got this body pillow with a naked anime girl on it. She looks like she's fourteen, and it's creepy. He says it's just a pillow and that I'm making a big deal out of it. Is it bad I don't want it in my bed? We live together.”
“No. You're not the bad guy for not wanting to be caught dead in bed with a pedophile's sex toy, Paula. It's your space, one where you sleep.”
“So… what do I do?”
“What'dja think?”Or: Nick Fury hired a young, freshly-graduated-from-MIT Tony Stark to be S.H.I.E.L.D.'s consultant.
Fury's questionable communication skills meant that every single agent the organization employed believed he was their resident therapist.
Free emotional healthcare? In AMERICA????
Sign them the fuck up.
Tony, for his part, was just glad his new co-workers are coming to him for advice.
Take that, Rhodey, he could hold a conversation without scaring people away!
(Also, Tony starts an advice forum online. It went as well as trying to contain a rabid goose.)