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Hawks felt his wings flutter the moment he opened his apartment door to see the window by the fire escape was cracked wide open. It had been two whole months since he saw the sight. While others would find it alarming, his heart warmed within his chest. Tiredly shrugging off his coat, he headed straight for his bedroom.
The door was closed when he got there, which wasn’t how he left it. It further supported his theory that his little firecracker did find his way home. Based on the lingering smell through the door, he was still there too, likely all curled up and waiting for his alpha to come home. It had been too long. Two months was too long.
Hawks took a deep breath as he reached for the handle, turning it in his hands. It didn’t budge more than an inch. He breathed out his lungful of air in a disheartened chuckle, “So, you are still mad?”
Shuffling was heard from his bedroom, but nothing more. Hawks coveted the day he’d see Dabi again, the miles and ignored text messages serving as a block between them. Now there was just a door. After a full fifty three days, he was going to let a simple door keep him from his mate. Hawks bowed his head to rest it against the cold wood, so much different from his partner’s warm skin. That door would stay there until Dabi said otherwise. He wouldn’t force anything after that dreaded night.
“Do you want me to get you anything? I can leave my jacket outside the door,” Hawks offered quietly, hoping that if Dabi accepted it, he could steal a glance at him before he locked himself away again.
“I’ll call you when I need you.” Hawks winced at the tone of Dabi’s voice. He grabbed his jacket and left it on the door handle before heading over to his couch. He sat with his knees to his chest, waiting obediently for his omega to beckon for him. It wasn’t until two hours later, when Hawks was almost passed out in his seat.
The door creaked open, but no hand reached forward to take his fluffy parka, rich with his scent. “Come here.”
Hawks scrambled from his seat and trotted over. Dabi had left the door open a crack, choosing to go back to the nest he created on Hawks’ bed. It took a lot more willpower than Hawks wanted to admit to not smother the omega in kisses and snuggles after being away from so long, but he didn’t want to startle him. He had to play nice and by his rules.
“Dabi, I-”
“Don’t talk to me,” Dabi snapped irritably as he settled in the blankets. He was only wearing black boxers that seemed a size too big for his slender hips. The smell of his oncoming heat filled the room and Hawks tried to bat it off as much as he could to be sure he was fully in control with his omega.
“I’m sorry,” Hawks whimpered pathetically as he approached the bed, his wings hanging low on his back at the weight of his guilt. Dabi’s sharp, blue eyes stayed on him, conveying nothing but that he felt inconvenienced. It was like a shot to the gut to be looked at with such hatred as Dabi shuffled down until he was lying flat on the bed, hands to his sides and legs spread open just enough to work with.
“I don’t want to hear it,” Dabi muttered, “I’m only here because I can’t go through this alone.”
Hawks slumped forward at the thought of Dabi leaving again after his heat. He never felt so far away from his mate when they were so fucking close, minutes before they were going to do the most intimate thing they could. He felt alone. He deserved it.
“Is there anything I can do to make it better?” Hawks began to take off his visor and headphones reluctantly. He crawled into the nest, the barrage of hormones hitting him like gnats, telling him to back away. It made his stomach churn in an unpleasant way as he settled on top of his still mate. He could see it in Dabi’s eyes he didn’t want to be there. His instincts were in the way, otherwise, he’d never want to see Hawks ever again. “I love you so much, I didn’t mean to do-”
“Just hurry up and get this over with.” Hawks couldn’t help the tears pooling in his eyes. Hanging his head, he nodded. Guiding his lips to Dabi’s neck, he fumbled his quivering lips against Dabi’s pulse. The moment he grazed over the mark he made just around a year ago, his heart dropped and he couldn’t suppress his tears from sliding down his cheeks. He could hear Dabi click his tongue in annoyance, but Hawks couldn’t help it. He knew he was there to help Dabi, but he couldn’t. He was the worst mate to him, and he still couldn’t give Dabi what he needed after fifty three days of isolated torment.
Dabi didn’t jerk away as Hawks wrapped his arms tightly around his waist, holding him close. He used to complain in a playful tone how Hawks was more of an omega than alpha with his clinginess and how easily he could be brought to tears, but now he acted like it was a hassle. Good. Hawks wasn’t perfect and he needed Dabi to know that. He knew he was the worst.
“I didn’t mean it,” Hawks cried, nuzzling into his partner’s neck, “I know… I know you said to never do it, but I didn’t mean to!”
“Hawks, just get to it.” Dabi’s voice sounded off. Hawks hoped it wasn’t because of his heart pounding in his ears.
“I don’t want to.” Hawks pushed upward and brushed their noses against each other like he did whenever he could. He loved feeling Dabi so close, but now it physically pained him. “I don’t want this to go and fade into motions. That isn’t love. I want to love you so much.”
“I don’t,” Dabi scowled, pressing a hand to Hawks’ chest, “I’m not yours, and I don’t want shit from you except relief. You are nothing to me. You don’t have control.”
Hawks heart wrenched. “I’m not him. I’m not going to do it again. I don’t want you to be anything but you.”
Before being able to mark Dabi, Hawks was given a short list of requirements. He hadn’t minded in the slightest. In fact, if he recalled correctly, he was peppering Dabi’s neck and collarbone with kisses, grinning at the thought of claiming him as his mate as Dabi droned on about what he needed. “Always leave the fire escape window unlocked. Don’t tell the League about our bond, or else you will be targeted. Keep a schedule of my heats and be there for a portion of them. Don’t expect me to end up like one of those ‘house omegas’. Don’t-”
“Babe, I get it.” Hawks pulled away a little, wings fluttering as he looked into the eyes he loved so much. “I don’t want you to change because of this either. And though the fire escape thing is a little dangerous, I’ll do it.”
Dabi frowned a little, shifting nervously beneath him as he laid in Hawks’ bed. It was the first time they ever were in that position, and the first time they looked each other in the eyes and knew that this was the time. It made Hawks both nervous and excited.
“... Lastly, you can’t use your Command on me.” Dabi’s eyes flickered to the side momentarily, but soon brought themselves back to Hawks face, carefully avoiding his eyes. “You can’t.”
“I haven’t yet,” Hawks replied, “and I’m not going to start.”
But that was broken fifty three days ago. The worst day Hawks had experienced in a long while. After stumbling into the warehouse from the High End incident, practically choking on his own blood, he met the eyes of the omega he loved so much in a lot better shape than he was. However, even when Dabi stepped closer, cupping his cheek apologetically with a genuinely concerned look on his face, Hawks’ anger didn’t sizzle out.
“Why didn’t you listen?” Hawks barked angrily. “You said tomorrow, I said where, we had an agreement, Dabi. What the fuck was that?”
“I don’t want you around Endeavor,” Dabi replied quietly, eyebrows furrowing as he uttered the hero’s name, “you don’t know him like I do. He deserves-”
“No! No he doesn’t!” Hawks yelled back, wincing as he felt a bead of blood roll down his heat. Dabi reached forward to brush it off, but Hawks batted his hand away, stumbling back a step. “You keep saying this shit and can’t back it up! You keep lying and taking back things we promised on. I don’t know what to fucking do since you change at a fucking drop of a hat! I… I...”
Dabi stared for a moment before raising his hands. Hawks hadn’t noticed it at the time, thinking he was just poking fun at his temper, but Dabi wasn’t just acting. He was raising his hands to protect himself from a possible attack. Hawks’ heart ached every time he replayed the moment in his head, wishing he had seen it earlier. “Hawks, you have to calm down-”
“Don’t interrupt me!” Hawks growled, eyes locked on Dabi’s own wide blue ones. “Don’t you fucking dare interrupt me!”
Hawks had never been so hateful in his life. He hadn’t intended for his alpha Command to slip, but it did, and Dabi’s eyes glazed over momentarily. A low pitched noise left his throat as he stepped back, shoulders curling inward. Hawks’ froze as he watched his mate begin to shake uncontrollably as he fell to his knees, hands coming up to grasp his head.
“Dabi?” He whispered with uncertainty. “A-Are… are you okay?”
Hawks wasn’t able to get close to Dabi before he took off fifty three days ago. But now, he was here, back in his arms and the immense guilt kept him from enjoying it.
“I know you said it to me before,” Hawks mumbled finally, sitting up. He wiped his tears off his with wrist, forcing down a series of sniffles which would ultimately turn into sobs if he let them. “Y-Your dad, right? He used his Command on you. Tried to condition you into being the perfect, quiet house omega after finding out you weren’t an alpha. He used that control to… to hurt you and keep you still while he did it.”
Dabi’s breathing pattern grew faster at the memory, shaking his head. Hawks felt so weak. Even as Dabi’s alpha, he couldn’t protect him. He couldn’t save him from memories he could have stopped had he known Dabi sooner. And he can’t even hunt the sick bastard who left dark scars all across Dabi’s back because his omega refused to let the information slip. He was young and capable, and he also was driven. Hawks knew Dabi could do it himself, but he wanted to see the man who hurt his partner in such a way that he’d wake up shaking, unable to speaking. He wanted to know who dared used their Command on such a young boy enough to make the thought of Commands send him into near panic attacks as an adult.
“What I did is unforgivable. I… I get it. I know why you avoided me and I know I should just help you now with your heat, but it hurts too much. I want to be with you, not to own you.”
Dabi slowly sat up. His eyes were trained to the sheets where his hands were clenched. Hawks prayed he wouldn’t get up and leave, and was surprised when Dabi instead leaned forward to hide his face in Hawks neck. He felt the man’s teeth bite into his neck, something he did often as a warning. He’d always shrug after Hawks would tug away, saying that if Alpha’s could bite and claim, Omega’s should be able to do the same because Hawks was his alpha. After hearing that, Hawks found he didn’t really mind the nips.
“I don’t want it to be cold,” Dabi muttered finally, voice tired and defeated, “it’s been that way for so long. I don’t want this to grow cold too.”
Somehow, Hawks knew exactly what he meant. Smiling in relief, Hawks hugged the omega close to his chest, “Then let’s keep it warm.”
Dabi huffed a little, but hugged back without a moment of thought. Nuzzling against Hawks’, he let out a sigh that weighed more than he thought the lithe man was capable of holding back. “I love you.”
“I love you too. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love-”
Dabi let out a small snort as he laughed, pulling back, “What, is Polly a broken record now?”
“But it’s your favorite tune!” Hawks replied with a grin. “But no, I just need to make up for all the days you didn’t hear that. Got to make sure you know it.”
Dabi smirked, sitting up and crawling into Hawks lap. His amusement was evident, and it made Hawks grin even wider. “Well, keep going before I forget, birdie.”