ALCatLover
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Several years from now, Chad will remember the sight of Robert stoning another merperson to near death during the spawning season they met with blunted edges to the violence and fond, soft nostalgia.
The Chad of today has been courting a merman with dull scales and a deep singing voice that seemed to contain all the beauty in the world for all of a week.
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"Well, after that biopsy, we have a diagnosis for you." The doctor snaps the binder shut and gives him a sympathetic look.
Chad's arms are folded over his chest, and he does his best not to scowl with impatience. He doesn't want to go to yet another doctor for this, not when after years of issues, he's finally getting an answer.
"Power-exacerbated endometriosis."
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Herman's unfocused eyes flutter open to a shadow standing over him, haloed by the bright restroom lights.
"Dude, you look fucking hot," The shadow mutters, and Herman sticks out his tongue, showing off the remnants of Galen's round, and then folds it back inside and swallows achingly. If his saliva didn't help out, he'd probably be feeling this for days. He presents his clean tongue once he's finished, to the shadow's audible enjoyment. "Shit, I'll get in you, real quick, just—"
The shadow starts fumbling with his belt, the sound of clinking metal loud in Herman's ears, and Herman furrows his brows, slow and difficult. How do his facial muscles work, again?
He doesn't get the opportunity to finish figuring it out before the shadow's dick is pushing into his mouth, and its uniquely shaped, fat head combined with his eyes focusing enough to make out two huge ears finally lets him puzzle out the shadow's identity; it's Victor, staring down at him with eyes as wide as milk saucers.
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Robert glances down, eyes briefly skating over the mess of precum dripping over his stomach where his cock's poking out of the last piece of clothing he still has on, at Royd's insistence, before his attention is snagged by something unexpected in the same area.
There's a bulging, round shape, right below where Robert feels tight and too-full, flesh stretched taut and hot over what can only be Royd's cockhead.
Robert tightens around him without even thinking about it, ass fluttering around the base in waves, and watches that bulge throb in response with perverse fascination, feeling warm fluid leak into the bend of his intestines.
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Robert lends Herman out every so often to the other Z-Teamers during non-work hours. Tonight, after a Robert took a trip to a magic sex shop with Phen a couple days ago, they're making a go at top five kinkiest nights of Robert's life. Probably not Herman's, though.
Exists in the same universe and is lowkey a sequel to 'now, now, remember to share your toys' in this same series. I just like making them into freaks.
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Recent series
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just some dispatch stories and oneshots (with a focus on Robert Robertson the III) by ALCatLover
Fandom Dispatch (Video Game)
08 Jul 2026
Summary
Some members of the cast grabbed me by the throat, okay. Robert’s everyman swag got to me.
That and the fact he's like if Comic Spider-Man, Iron Man, and Batman were thrown together and then promptly got their asses kicked into the Worm universe with no goddamn money. And I got a couple ideas.
If the ideas seem weird, sue me. I'm used to being in fandoms left without new content for so long we've started growing a mold culture. Each work should be considered as unrelated to each other, unless I make clear it's otherwise.
All my works in the Dispatch fandom will be posted to this series, so if you're only interested in dispatch, subscribe here, not my user.
- Words:
- 125,499
- Works:
- 11
- Bookmarks:
- 14
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can you cuck someone with the version of them that exists in your mind (and guest stars!) by ALCatLover
Fandom Dispatch (Video Game)
13 May 2026
- Words:
- 22,587
- Works:
- 3
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- Words:
- 45,118
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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DSMP Bande AU by ALCatLover, orphan_account
Fandom Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
30 Mar 2021
- Words:
- 17,373
- Works:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 5
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- Words:
- 8,562
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 3
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
“Yo, man, the word in the hallways is you went on a date. Is that true?”
[You jealous or something? Look, if you wanted to grab dinner, all you had to do was ask.]
Fuck. Fuck.
“Yeah… Ha. You’re not my type.”
Chad’s fucked. Alice doesn’t let him get away with it.
Bookmarked by ALCatLover
08 Jul 2026
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- Words:
- 67,173
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 6
Bookmarked by ALCatLover
08 Jul 2026
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“You’re smug for someone functioning as medical hardware.”
“Keep talking. I’ll clock out.”
Or: Robert has cramps. Chad has opinions.
Bookmarked by ALCatLover
07 Jul 2026
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He wasn’t sure how else to describe it—like a family reunion of fuck ups who never wanted to return, only coming back because of something tragic. Like grief, maybe death. Robert was meant to be dead.
ALTERNATIVELY: Robert's failed suicide attempt
Bookmarked by ALCatLover
07 Jul 2026
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Summary
Robert pinches his nose and groans. "I click over to Golem for two fucking minutes - what's this shit about releasing birds?"
"The fucking -" Visi groans, frustrated. "What's the name, the stupid birds everybody hates, the drones from the government."
His mouth opens and closes. Nothing comes out.
"Pigeons," Mal supplies. "She means pigeons."
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A slice of post-canon's new normal. It's pretty similar to the old.
Title from Operator! by Jenny Scara
Series
- Part 1 of mismatched still has match in it
Bookmarked by ALCatLover
07 Jul 2026