ReadingGargoyle



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In the mornings, afternoons, and nights, there is one thing that is always there for Ilya Rozanov.

    And that's McDonalds.

    While he does miss his usual spot back in Boston, he's been coming often to the closest one to his new home in Ottawa. It's convenient. Plus, who's gonna say no to a McGriddle?

    Unfortunately for Ilya, the breakfast menu items are all unavailable at 1am.

    Luckily, he has his perfect, regular late-night order that he always gets. And he orders it with pride, like a white girl at Starbucks.

    But the best part of the night isn't even Ilya's food, but the worker at the window.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,232
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    171
    Kudos:
    3,574
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    08 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    He’s about to unlock the door when his phone buzzes, no doubt with an apology or an explanation. Someone screams outside of the bathroom. There’s a loud noise. More screams. What the-

    His phone buzzes again.

    Jane: don’t come out

    Jane: hide

    Jane: guns

    Jane: idk what’s happening

    Jane: call the cops

    Or

    Shane, Ilya, Scott Hunter and a bunch of MHL players find themselves in a hostage situation in the middle of the Las Vegas award ceremony. (Mid-situationship, the year pre-tuna melt).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,722
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    2,309
    Kudos:
    14,025
    Bookmarks:
    3,150
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    193,614

    08 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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     “I need your help.” 

    Ilya peers up again and raises an eyebrow. He pauses the video he was watching. “With?” 

    Shane fidgets. “I, uh… I can’t– I mean, I can but I’m not very good– Fuck, listen, just– Ineedyoutohelpmewithsex.” 

    A pause. A long pause. Ilya blinks a couple of times, mouth twitching at the corners. Then,

    “You need me to teach you how to fuck your girl, Hollander?”

    Shane needs help satisfying his girlfriend, Jessica. He turns to his roommate, Ilya, for help.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,079
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    606
    Kudos:
    11,164
    Bookmarks:
    2,084
    Hits:
    76,645

    08 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 76

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    Summary

    This is Cliff Marleau. Rozanov is in trouble. I think you may be the best person to help. Can I call you?
    ---
    Basically I just wanted to create a world where Ilya would ACTUALLY die without Shane and this is what came out.

    This jumps in right after the cottage - the boys have just separated to head home for their respective preseasons. As with most of my work, this jumps around in the timeline. Watch out for that. Let me know in the comments if you were ever confused.

    This has very light a/b/o dynamics. Mostly it's just angst and hurt/comfort.

    I was going to wait until this work was completely finished to post anything, but I decided I would love to hear feedback on this first bit to see what lands/doesn't first. I'm envisioning around 3 or 4 chapters total on this, but who knows.

    It's entirely possible I wrote this for myself and no one else would be into this weird-ass concept which is perfectly fine - write the fanfic you want in the world!

    Housekeeping:
    Italic text = Russian
    This fic uses a work skin to simulate text messages. If you turn it off or read on an e-reader, they should still be visible (no promises) - just not as fun.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,987
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    166
    Bookmarks:
    76
    Hits:
    1,530

    07 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    When Ilya raises his head, he's pouting at him again. Shane can't believe this man is the same surgeon who regularly performs nose jobs and penile enlargements and breast reductions. He literally looks like a moody teenager right now. "It's not a big deal, Hollander! I swear, we just go to one dinner, we talk to her, that's it!"

    Shane raises an eyebrow. "'That's it'? Ilya, you were trying to convince me to pretend to be your husband, who is about to divorce you, just so you could save face in front of your latest conquest and explain why she found a ring in your pocket."

    OR

    Ilya asks Shane to pretend to be his soon-to-be-ex-husband so he can get a girlfriend. Yeah, they fall in love instead.

    (Just Go With It (2011), but instead of Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler, it's Shane and Ilya.)

    NOW COMPLETE!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,563
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    354
    Kudos:
    1,206
    Bookmarks:
    502
    Hits:
    41,360

    07 Jul 2026

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